It's okay to hug an idea; you don't have to marry it.

What heals old wounds is when we honor the pain and then let go of it.

(Get your popcorn or have ai give you a tldr if you must. i took the time to write it, and it's mildly amusing and perhaps you might find it surprisingly insightful during your morning constitutional. Or at least you might find it delusional, and kinda interesting like a train wreck. Either way is fine with me. I enjoy having an audience to write to, so go get your tldr elsewhere. I SAID GOOD DAY!)

If we don't go through the "honoring our pain" then the pain clings and clings because it is scared of you getting hurt again. It wants to keep reminding you of the past to try to prevent more injuries in the future.

But the past doesn't exist anymore. It's only in our memories, so we get to decide how much of our attention to direct to it.

And the future doesn't exist. It will never be the future. It will always only be "now."

So while it makes sense to reminisce for the past at times, or to make plans for our future based on our hopes and dreams, we really do tend to find that focusing on now provides vastly greater confidence to engage in life and greater satisfaction in life than living in pursuit of the past or of the future.

You can't do anything about either of them. You can only do something about "now." According to physicists and philosophers Time doesn't really exist. It's an illusion. (It's a pretty compelling one, if you ask me.)

In a more complete reality than the one I can explore with my 5 standard issue senses, time might best be explained as an artifact of the limitations of perception imposed by the seemingly hard ceiling on the number of physical dimensions that can coexist "simultaneously."

We don't know how any of this works. We don't even know if the past and the future exist at all! Time is most likely a total illusion which our interface devices were embossed with to create for us.

To sort of come at it from another angle: there are some types of personal violations against us for which we find that genuine forgiveness is difficult to arrive at, no matter how sincerely we seek to feel it. All that means is "Don't worry; you just haven't gotten there yet."

What's the rush? Time doesn't exist so there is zero pressure on getting to those forgiveness goal posts real quick on anyone else's behalf.

Try embracing different ideas about how you feel about your understanding of the bitter, past events if you need to.

Just don't spend too much time lingering and poking at any particular sore spot for too long. It can only make things worse. Limit your time submerged in your feelings about the past, and when the allotted time arrives: move on, and work your way back to focusing on today.

"Focus on the Now" isn't just some mantra to repeat; it's a straight-up secrete cheat code for anyone who is seeking internal peace. But if you must time travel then simply look forward to the future! Have some ideas about where you want to go, but don't cling too tightly.

It's okay to hug an idea; you don't have to marry it.

Take your time, live your life, remain open to forgiveness, and don't pressure yourself.

Eventually, you will get distracted from the story in which you were abused, you will go lengthy periods without it even crossing your mind.

For the benefit of your own Spirit's general expansion and growth, just keep on keepin' on with your life. Do the best you can, living and loving as honestly and as bravely as you are able.

Be secure in the knowledge that whatever you need in order to pursue what you came here to do will come to you.

You will always have what you need. Whatever you and Creation together decided you need in order to accomplish your unappreciably many filaments densely entangled in mats with those of literally everyone else in the world. How could it be otherwise?

If you ever get to the point of being able to let go of it all, finally feeling no attachments to the pain you experienced at the hands of the person you have not been able to resist, and feel guilty about, resenting you may, with the detachment of a neutral observer rather than the injured party, find it easier to forgive. (Of course that NEVER means to let your guard down around friends or family members that could be a detriment to your physical or mental health. Limit strictly or avoid contact altogether if that's what you need to do.)

Forgiveness does not need to be articulated to another person, accepted, nor even responded to by the other party. You can absolutely forgive someone in your heart from afar, which is necessary when it's someone who you can't or who you shouldn't approach.

You have a powerful mind and a creative Soul. Make up whatever celebration you like to honor your release of their chains from your waist.

You can send a lot of love and peace right from where you are without even sending a text or lighting a candle.